Should I quit my job to be a stay at home Mom? When I was trying to make the decision to quit my job, I googled this same phrase. Subconsciously, I wanted the internet to tell me it was okay. I wanted someone to tell me that I was in the right for wanting to stay home with my baby. I wanted to be the one raising my son.
If this sounds like the situation you’re going through, maybe this can help you decide. If you need courage to take the leap, I’ve got you covered!
Being a mother is one of the most important things you can do in your lifetime. It is an innate response to want to care for them as best we can. In our modern society, women have left the home and entered the workforce. In past times, this was never a decision that needed to be made, as essentially all women were stay at home moms.
Hopefully this is a comprehensive list of considerations you can make. They may help in your decision making if some of these seem like a no brainer and easy to process. If some of them are unfathomable. Maybe it isn’t time to quit your job just yet!
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The Choice You Make Will Be the Right One
Firstly, I would like to say that no matter what choice you make, it will be the right one. You are a great mother no matter if you’re working 40+ hours a week or if you’re staying home with your children all day every day.
This decision is super objective, but it is also emotional. Before you have your child, you may thing it’s a no brainer to continue to work. More money is always seems like a no brainer, right?! But after meeting your child, you may feel the tug in the opposite direction.
I hope to help you clarify all the aspects of your life that might change once you decide to leave your job.
Really, there are so many pros and cons to both sides of this. I don’t need to make this article about that, though you should definitely sit down and make your own!
Consider What It’s Costing You to Stay at Your Job
It might be more expensive to stay at your job, whether it’s financial expense or physical/emotional expense. These expenses might outweigh your paycheck in the end.
Childcare
This expense alone may equate to half your individual income. The cost of quality childcare can be super expensive. Having more than one kid also increases this amount.
I also know that in my area, there is a very long wait list to even get into daycare. Like, you basically have to sign up when you find out you’re pregnant.
Work Expenses
If you work outside the home, your expenses may add up faster than you realize. These expenses could include:
- If you commute a long distance to work
- If you eat out on your lunch
- If you grab a coffee on your way to work
- Clothes you buy for work that are applicable to your profession or a certain dress code you have to meet
- Special equipment and supplies you have to provide on your own
Time With Your Family
It’s hard to put a price on your time. It’s a very emotional cost and may be the one that is most important to you. You have to decide how important it is to be with your child more. I know it is so cliche, but they really do grow up so fast.
Your Child’s Wellbeing
It’s a scary world out there. Some may think that I am paranoid or over-exaggerating on this one. But bad things happen to kids all the time when their parents never expect it. You need to be able to fully trust whomever you’re leaving your kids with
Having your child with someone else all day means someone else is their caregiver. If the idea of someone else raising your kids scares you, being a stay at home mom is the best option you have. This is also true for homeschooling, and it may be something else you’ll have to consider in the future!
Consider What It Would Cost You to Leave Your Job
Now, with our economic times, there is a push to have two incomes to run a household. It’s very difficult to support a family with just one income.
Maybe you and your partner are in a fortunate enough situation where money is not a huge part of your decision on whether or not you should stay home with the kids. If that is the case, it will be a lot easier to decide. Money isn’t the only thing that a job has to offer you though.
Identity, Fulfillment, and Purpose
After building a career for yourself, it becomes part of your identity. It’s who you are. Many women feel that they lose a piece of themselves when they leave the workforce.
Many take pride in their careers. If you have an especially impactful job, it can take a harder toll on your sense of self. This is not to discount the fact that you have an incredible amount of purpose being a mother!
Being a parent is a thankless job. No one is around to tell you you’re doing a good job (heck, your kids may even be telling you how horrible you’re doing.) And at the end of the day you aren’t even getting paid for the 16 hour work day you put in. It is monotonous and will test your patience every single day.
Social Life
The lack of social life may get to you after a while. It’s hard being in the house day in and day out with the same little person(s). Not talking to adults ever may make you feel insane at times.
Once you don’t have a job though, it’s easier to find time to go do social things with your little ones. Maybe even make some new mom friends!
How Much are you Willing to Give Up
Really, this decision come down to what you can live without. For some it may not be possible to live without two incomes. But if it is possible, can you live without fancy things? Maybe its super important to you to be able to have your time out of the house and away from the kids. In that case, you really might benefit from being a working mom!
How Can You Close the Gap?
You’ve decided you definitely want to stay at home with your kiddo. Money may be a little tight, but there are ways to squeeze a dollar.
Ways to Make Extra Money
The gig economy is huge right now. And thanks to COVID, there are so many remote jobs you can also do from home. There are countless opportunities to make money that don’t involve leaving your home or your kids. If you have the ability to find remote work that is great. But sometimes we don’t have enough time for that with all the time it takes to raise children.
There are so many side hustles and ways to make extra money these days, I will include a few ideas to help:
- Clean out your garage and storage and sell things on facebook marketplace
- Find something to make with your kids and sell your goods on etsy
- Reselling – This is what I do. Essentially find things to buy for cheap and sell them for a profit. I like to use Poshmark and Ebay to sell brand name women’s clothes. You can check out my Poshmark Closet Here.
- Dropshipping
- Affiliate Marketing
- Print on Demand
- Blogging
- Freelancing
Get creative here, play into your strengths and skills and maybe you and your kids can even make your own business!
Ways to Save Money
You’ll soon find out that your lifestyle will be completely different. And that’s okay! The good news is your spending is in your control!
Shop Less
It is hard to realize how much money we spend on the internet until we stop. Take a look at all the frivolous spending you do and bring it to an end!
Buy in Bulk
This may sound counterintuitive to my previous point, but shopping in bulk can help you save money in the long run. It is really hard to go to Costco and only get stuff that you need, but it is necessary.
Cancel/Change Monthly expenses
Less debt will always make your monthly expenses lower. I know in our situation, it was easy to get accustomed to a certain lifestyle. You learn to live on a two job income. This may include things like financed vehicles, a mortgage, maybe a professional cleaning service.
These are just some ways you can cut down on your bills. By implementing some of these things, you could be looking at thousands of dollars that you’re spending that you don’t have to. It might even be the equivalent of a full time job!
Get Rid of Extras
Some of it you still need, like the mortgage, but some you may be able to part with.
At one point, we were paying someone $200 a month to mow our lawn! And honestly, when our income was substantial and we didn’t have kids, $200 didn’t seem like a lot of money. Now, that amount of money is crucial in feeding our family.
If you have a credit card, not paying off the balance every month results in interest. Interest is just extra money you’re losing every month that could be going to groceries.
Lower Payments for the Necessities
When is the last time you had your car insurance or homeowners insurance re-quoted? Have you looked at alternatives to your cellphone, internet and tv providers? You could be paying more for every bill out of complacency. My husband makes fun of me for it, but I switch car insurance companies every six months (sometimes more frequently) because rates are constantly changing.
Maybe having a car payment isn’t in the cards for you anymore. Can you afford to pay off your car before quitting your job? Can you trade your vehicle in for a less expensive model. Maybe you can refinance to get the payment down.
It may sound extreme, but maybe downsizing to a new home is an option for you. I don’t mean you have to move into a tiny house or RV, but people are DOING IT! Your priorities change when you start a family, and maybe finding a smaller/cozier house is more practical than your large house you bought when it was just you and your partner.